Chitose Senri

I'm Sadly Delusional and Think My Hat is Cool: The Life and Times of Shishido Ryou

An Unauthorized Biography

By

Chitose Senri (the tragically good-looking author)

and

Tachibana Kippei (the roguish investigator)



Teaser:



For months now, Shishido Ryou has been a beloved BNF, but who was he before the fame and the glory? What first inspired him to shout, "YOU'RE LAME!"? Was there ever a time when his entries received less than 5,002 comments? And does he really think that his hair looks good?

Using unrivaled investigative skills, we have unearthed the answer to those questions, but they are only the tip of the surly iceberg! Beneath Shishido's short, boring exterior are shocking secrets unknown to his adoring public!





The Scandal, the Intrigue, and the Story about the Diapers: Coming to a Friends List Near You.

Poll #1034445 Chitose's Poll of Extreme Righteousness
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 15

What did you think spaz-bro mean by watersports?

Knitting is a very manly activity, regardless of what boyfriends and roommates might say.

Hottest person on LJ?

Drug of choice?

This is a drop-down box.

Whatever.

'sup Livejournal?

I've been reading my flist this week. Normally I Ctrl+F for keywords (Tachibana, Chitose, hippy, cult, weed, etc.), but I was feeling adventurous. I'll summarize for anyone else who tends to skim.


Random Person/Creature #1: I am normally [insert non-feline species], but today I am a cat. Of the opposite gender. Possibly I am a flying cat. It's uncertain, but I definitely have improbable powers of some sort. Also, I think I have been impregnated because a goat sneezed on me.

Random Person/Creature #2: Can I have a kitten?


My Thoughts: LSD is fun, but don't play with it if you can't handle it. ;)



In other news, Kippei and I have had sex, and Sailor Bob keeps sinking my battleship.

Day 1: Brought into existence by genie. Feel oddly compelled to obey the tall one. Want a banana.

Day 2: Tall one has tasty leaves. Life is satisfying. Am practicing typing.

Day 3: Watched Animal Planet. Discovered the shift key. Am the smartest monkey.

Day 4: Tall one cleaning spotty's teeth with his tongue again. Must remember to eat lice. Other human does not like me. :(

Day 5: Too many humans. Have near-death experience with another sailor. Meet Red.

Day 7: Am in love. Red not returning my calls.

Day 11: Have mastered typing and l337 speak. Still not heard from Red. Tall one unsympathetic about my pain.

Day 16: Drew 184 pictures of Red. 89 of them rated NC-17. Tall one not sharing his crayons. Other human does not have crayons.

Day 19: Life is meaningless.

Day 21: Watched Cartoon Network. Feel that I am misunderstood like Mojo Jojo.

Day 25: Attempts to kill my humans have failed. Watched Animal Planet to see if I could replace Red in my heart with one of my own kind. Monkeys on tv play with their poop. Am still the smartest.

Day 26: Search Google for monkey/human porn.

Day 28: Tall one changes password on his laptop. Says he doesn't want spotty one asking questions about internet history folder. Sexual frustration rises.

Day 30: Have finally broken password. Will steal tall one's internet identity and become biggest BNF so that my Red will love me. After honeymoon, will get him to buy hammer for me so that I can complete my death ray and take over the rest of the world.

Title: The Whore of Babylon
Author: getahippy
Rating: G (fun for the whole family)

( Read more... )

...

Spaz-bro is not going to stop humiliating me until he runs out of letters. I don't think it's possible to become more mortified than I already am, so I'm going to steal his thunder. Here are the ones from under the sofa.

( nws )


...

If you need me, I'm going to be smothering myself with my pillow.

Discuss.

1. I think my monkey is plotting against me.

2. Kippei, let's join Rikkai Dai.

3. I've decided that I will turn duck-bro into the ultimate magical tennis master.

MySpace Glitter Graphics

This is the RP post for the slumber party that happened last night at Saeki's and Chitose's apartment. It's invite-only, so IM me if you want your character to crash.

Also, no sex, please. There's just not enough ROOM.

Poll #999612
Open to: Friends, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 10

How frightening is Yukimura without a spiked bat?

How terrifying is Yukimura with a spiked bat?

How terrifying is chibi mom Oishi with a broom?

Saeki and I are having a sleepover tomorrow night. It's invite only.

Invited:

Kippei

Spaz-bro

Rich-bro and Echizen

Yanagi and Yukimura

Mini-bro

The Oshitari cousins twins

Oishi

Orihime

Sirius Black

Don't Even Think about Asking to Crash:

Tezuka Kunimitsu

Ootori Choutarou

Any other psychopaths

Bring pillows, blankets, and anything else that you think you'll need. I'll e-mail you if you need directions. Show up anytime after 5.

SPECIAL DELUXE CAPSLOCK EDITION - RATED NC-17

Edit: Don't judge us.

( THIS IS NOW OFFICIALLY CANON )

1. You're on here because I'd feel stupid leaving you off. Do I need to say anything else? tachibanaism

2. I'm thinking of having you eat Atobe in the next chapter. iluvmygarden

3. If you gross Kippei out again, you will be destroyed. It's nothing personal. one_sh0t

4. I think that deep down, you're a scrub. ;) bigi_my_yoina

5. You should name a puppy after me. slobberymongrel

6. I think we're going to toilet paper your house at some point. gekidasadaze

7. I had a nightmare where you opened your eyes, and they had teeth. Your irises ate Tokyo. It was righteous. datapwns

8. I put a bucket of water over your door, but by the time you see this, it will be too late. pretteh_fuku

9. I'm training my monkey to poop on you. toasty_tezuka

10. I still support your dreams of incest. oshitari_kenya


Variation: Anyone can guess who's who, and I'll put there names beside their message if you get it right.

Rated PG-13 for random crap. This happened, uh, tonight.

( Left me behind? That stupid whale thing? )

Like a mighty monster from a B-movie, we will rain down terror upon you. Your spirit will be crushed like a city model in a cheap film studio. Abandon hope, all ye who open up this can of whoop-ass.





To everyone else: do you think I look good with pink hair?

This happened on Monday, but please let the anachronism slide. Rated PG-13 for language, death threats, etc.

( Ah...is Saeki a fucktard? )

Kippei and I both bought your games, and we had to suffer through a rewrite of Snakes on a Sora, so we're practically BFF.

We will do whatever you want in exchange for a favor. You should help us. Basically we'll be your temporary slaves for the sake of revenge. This is especially directed at Axel, because he's righteous.

The Good:

- I have defended Kippei's honor by beating the weird dude Light 6-0.
- Kippei and I are now up-to-speed on the latest life-saving techniques.
- My fortune cookie from dinner was deep and meaningful.

The Bad:

- Tezuka came back early.
- Atobe has started using mentally disturbed kouhai as weapons.
- I missed Oprah.

Saeki asked me to post to tell everyone that he's changing accounts. He's giving up pretteh_fuku. His new username is handjobs4free. Add him.